


the only way out is through

by kunimi_blep



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Men kissing!!!!!!!!!, Pining, Post-Time Skip, adults can have sleepovers too, everybody say thank you kenma for your wisdom, kuroo has been in love FOREVER, leave me alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27539539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi_blep/pseuds/kunimi_blep
Summary: kuroo really should have deleted his tiktok. he's an adult. they're all adults. why.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	the only way out is through

**Author's Note:**

> despite the summary i swear this isnt crack. this is just grownass men dealing with their feelings like teenagers. that's all this is. and also an excuse for me to write bokuroo kissing because kisses are the best thing in the world. so. yeah im.
> 
> it's officially kuroo day where i am so happy bday kuroo :0 what better way to celebrate than to write him pining and ooc lol://

The cheers and laughter from everyone in the team grow distant as Bokuto and Kuroo leave the restaurant, sliding the door closed behind them.

After saying their thank you's and goodbye's and see you's, Bokuto was the one to tell Kuroo that they should go home, Akaashi and Kenma probably waiting at the latter's apartment for their sleepover. "Tsukki might even come," is what Bokuto thinks does the trick and convinces him, but honestly, just thinking about Bokuto getting to rest the sooner they leave is what does it.

Rest... might be a joke. They may be grownass adults, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to stuff their faces with ice cream as they wear their cute matching pajamas and neon colored socks, huddled together in front of Kenma's huge TV.

Kuroo's car beeps somewhere near them when Kuroo presses on his keys, and Bokuto all but rushes to open the door to the passenger's seat and settle in. Kuroo would be lying if he said he weren't as excited as Bokuto for their sleepover.

There's just this one thing, though, Kuroo thinks, as he opens the door and sits in the car himself, setting his phone on the phone stand on the dashboard. He starts the engine and adjusts the rearview mirror, the GPS app opening on his phone. That is, there's been this one thing he couldn't get out of his mind.

Everyone can laugh at them, the entire team already has, but maybe Bokuto and Kuroo have TikTok accounts. Bokuto swears it's mostly for the memes and the insane volleyball moments they see on the app, but also just for the fun of it. Kuroo... Well, who cares if they're adult men? Kuroo can dance and record himself if he wants to!

But back to what's been on his mind... Well, this is probably Kenma's fault.

The other day, Kenma had sent him a link to a TikTok, and he immediately flushed at the text at the top of the video. _Kissing my best friend challenge_ should have sounded like a dumb thing that only dumb teenagers do, but his heart had clenched and he would not be able to deny who the first person who popped into his head was.

For the laughs, he had replied to Kenma with _what, you wanna do this with me_ , to which Kenma, in all his straightforward and takes-no-shit-from-Kuroo-Tetsurou attitude, simply answered with _ew_. Kuroo knew exactly why Kenma had sent him that, and _damn Kenma_ for just knowing him so well.

This is _definitely_ Kenma's fault.

The past two nights have been spent thinking, imagining what would happen if he were to do the challenge.

Kuroo doesn't even have it in him to tell himself he has never and will never want to kiss Bokuto. He's wanted to kiss Bokuto everyday since they'd graduated high school.

He remembers how close the two of them have been in high school joint practices and training camps, growing together and getting through their dumb teenager years.

He remembers how much the two of them insisted on maintaining their friendship despite Bokuto getting scouted and Kuroo taking courses in university, where sleepovers like the one they're going to have tonight just became an unspoken monthly agreement.

He remembers going to all of Bokuto's games over the years to show his undying support.

He remembers gathering the members of the national team together for the first time as he told them of his new promotional ideas.

He and Bokuto have been through so much together and Kuroo has loved him all this time.

"Want to listen to some music?" Bokuto asks, hand in his gym bag already fishing for his phone.

Maybe Kuroo hasn't known it all this time, sure, but through the last few months of high school, he's wondered about it, and he confided in Kenma, quite simply just saying, "It isn't normal to wanna kiss a bro, is it..."

But when Kuroo thinks about Bokuto, all lean and big and strong and loud, all amazing and beautiful and powerful, it would be a lie to say kissing Bokuto isn't something he wants, has wanted for the longest time.

"It's literally a ten-minute-drive," Kuroo answers slowly, bringing his head back into the present. He minutely mourns over not getting to listen to music with Bokuto, but settles for teasing the way he always does, to try to dissipate the ache in his chest. "It would take you the eight minutes to choose a playlist, and then the two minutes won't be enough for even one song."

Kuroo has the ten minutes of this drive-- nine minutes now and closing in on eight-- to decide what it is he actually wants to do. Maybe he did plan on doing the challenge tonight, even if Kenma wasn't directly challenging him. Maybe he even planned on confessing, just to say it, get it out there, fuck everything because he only lives once!

But Kuroo knows himself well, and despite all his bravado and confidence, neither of those things are happening tonight if he can help it.

Bokuto has been pouting now, but he didn't deny his indecisive music choices, and he still brought his phone out. "Turn your GPS off then, since there's only 5 minutes left anyway."

Kuroo ignores it. Bokuto sounds all grumbly and pouty and Kuroo wants to kiss him.

He really _really_ wants to kiss him.

Bokuto hums the rest of the drive to compensate for the lack of music, and its sound feels almost distant to Kuroo, half his mind on driving and the other half in shambles at how much he just wants to do it, to _just_ do it, to _really_ do it, to _finally_ do it--

"These photos are so funny," Bokuto cheerily comments from his side, and it takes Kuroo everything in him to keep his eyes on the road instead of looking at Bokuto to see him smiling the way he just knows he is. "Hinata's face..."

If it's the group photos from the dinner earlier, Kuroo already knows what he's talking about because he was the one who took them-- or maybe he doesn't know because he was only looking at one face in particular.

Bokuto's giggles mellow down when they get to the underground parking lot of Kenma's apartment building, and then it's suddenly too quiet for Kuroo to handle.

Kuroo slows down his drive and pulls up into a parking space.

Terrified as hell, he leans over to tap on his phone. He pulls up Tiktok, choosing the front camera and freezing when he meets Bokuto's eyes in the video reflecting on his phone's screen.

Bokuto just grins and throws up a peace sign, going back to looking down at his own phone. He's obviously distracted enough that he doesn't realize they've already arrived.

Kuroo hopes he's distracted enough not to call him out on what he's about to do next.

He leans back on his seat after he presses record, fidgets just the smallest bit, then leans over to Bokuto's side, feigning interest in the pictures Bokuto is looking at on his phone.

Bokuto doesn't move away, used to this already, even tilting his phone a little to give Kuroo a clearer view so they can look at the photos together. He swipes to the right to go through more of the pictures Kuroo took in quick succession.

It's such a little gesture, maybe something so natural to Bokuto already after years of friendship, but it's really the littlest things that make him realize how much he loves Bokuto, and Kuroo really wants to kiss him.

He really _really_ wants to kiss him.

Kuroo can't even pay attention to the flailing limbs of Bokuto's teammates, not the blurred ghostlike figures of those who moved while he was taking the picture, not even Bokuto's eyes closed as he's caught mid-laugh.

Bokuto smells of the barbecue smoke from dinner, they both do. But from this up close, Bokuto smells of dried sweat and men's deodorant under a fresh t-shirt after practice. He feels his brain swimming in his head and he hasn't even done anything yet.

He convinces himself it's now or never, before Bokuto realizes that they're here already, before Bokuto pulls away, before Bokuto runs out of the car and races him to the elevators, before--

"Oh, oops--" Bokuto says, when after a slurry of pictures from tonight's dinner, his phone flashes the latest photo of him and Kuroo together, a selfie from yesterday after practice, too. 

Bokuto zooms into Kuroo's messy hair in the photo at first, but when he zooms out, Kuroo is met witht the sight of Bokuto's eyes closed and nose scrunched.

It must be this picture that finally pushes Kuroo to do it.

He lifts his gaze from the phone and looks at Bokuto.

Kuroo has leaned in so close that when Bokuto finally looks up from his phone, his eyes cross in surprise at the proximity.

Kuroo looks down at Bokuto's mouth, and it looks so soft and a little shiny from the oily meats they barbecued. Realistically, it shouldn't sound as tempting as it is. Still, he hopes him directing his eyes there is enough to show Bokuto his intention, give him enough time to pull away like he's--

_Like he's doing now._ It was a small distance, barely noticeable, but Kuroo's been watching extra closely, and Bokuto is definitely farther now than he was a second ago. 

"Uh," Bokuto whispers, and Kuroo is getting ready to apologize, to ignore the breaking in his chest, but then he stops, and when Kuroo trails his vision up his face and into his eyes, it comes. 

Suddenly it is Bokuto who tilts his chin up just a little and leans that small distance closer, and then his lips are pressing against Kuroo's.

Kuroo is stunned frozen where he is, his one hand on the headrest of Bokuto's seat, the other hanging limply between them, and only a split second passes of Kuroo trying to part from him and lean away in surprise, before Bokuto is surging forward and moving his lips.

Kuroo hears the soft sound of Bokuto's phone dropping onto his bag, or onto his lap, or maybe onto the floor of his car, he doesn't know, he doesn't care, because now both of his hands are holding Kuroo close and steady by the lapels of his suit.

When Kuroo goes lax from his initial flight instinct, Bokuto slides one of his hands onto Kuroo's neck, and the other rests on top of Kuroo's free hand.

Kuroo kisses him back now, because he can finally confirm that Bokuto's lips _are_ as soft as he'd dreamed them up to be.

It is Bokuto who breathes out and then in through his nose, like he knows this is how good kissers do it, and this is Kuroo's only reminder to breathe, too, because he hasn't taken a breath since he took in Bokuto's scent before this all started happening.

Bokuto's hums make him sound like he's satisfied and had enough, but Kuroo doesn't want this to end, doesn't want Bokuto to stop, so he takes his hand from under Bokuto's and touches Bokuto's neck, too, and whether it catches him off guard or tickles him, Kuroo will never know, but now he's gasped and his lips are parted, and--

It is still Bokuto who darts his tongue out to lick at Kuroo's lips.

Kuroo allows this, _of course he does_ , parting his lips so Bokuto can lick into his open mouth, kiss him deeper. The shiver that runs down his spine from their tongues tangling in his mouth is almost shameful, but only if he didn't feel Bokuto tremble when Kuroo sucked on his tongue.

It is Bokuto who moans, who attempts to pull Kuroo closer, and even if Kuroo's neck is starting to strain, and even if his side hurts from leaning over the console, he lets Bokuto do this, the hand Kuroo let go settling on his hip, his waist, and caressing there. If Bokuto's fingers slip the tiniest space under his vest and shirt to tremble against the skin he touches, Kuroo makes no protest. Subconsciously, he thinks he would encourage it.

When Bokuto starts drawing his tongue back, Kuroo chases after it, has a taste of the inside of Bokuto's mouth for the first time, and it's dizzying, how he feels Bokuto's fingers scratch lightly along where he's touching, how he feels how rough Bokuto's fingers are against the skin of his waist, of his neck, so heavy and yet so gentle, so unlike how aggressively he spikes a volleyball over a net.

It's dizzying, still, how he feels more than hears Bokuto's moans against his mouth, how he pushes impossibly closer and Kuroo lets him, holds him, pulls him in.

Bokuto's phone blips a notification from wherever it had fallen, the sound distant and almost muffled, and Kuroo fully expects Bokuto to finally wake up from whatever he's let Kuroo do to him, to pull away, but he just groans, biting at Kuroo's lip, as if telling him not to go, _not yet, don't stop yet._

Kuroo doesn't want to stop. He doesn't know if he will ever want to stop.

He gives a little bite at Bokuto's lower lip in response, soothes it with his tongue, moans against his mouth, and Bokuto hums in approval, tilting his head this way and that, angling their heads so they never have to part, but his breathing is a little less controlled now, puffs of air escaping his lips and into Kuroo's mouth.

The blip turns into ringing in a matter of seconds, and even if they let it ring once, twice, thrice-- neither of them can ignore it now, thinking it might be their friends waiting for them, and when Kuroo finally has enough strength to part from him, he _swears_ Bokuto gives the softest whine at the loss. Kuroo is grateful they're sitting because his knees might have given out from just that sound alone.

Bokuto is doe eyed, confused, lips parted, panting, grip on Kuroo's neck growing tighter, and then lighter, and then heavier, and then Bokuto's eyes slowly slide to Kuroo's phone on the dashboard, and then the grip is gone altogether when his hand drops.

When Bokuto pulls his other hand out from under two layers of Kuroo's clothes, and then leans down to reach for his phone on the car floor, Kuroo, though all but on the verge of tears from missing Bokuto's hands on him, simply leans back into his seat, an attempt at collecting himself, ashamed to observe the way he looks wrecked and stupid on his phone's screen.

Even the second the ringing stops and Bokuto is bringing his phone up to his ear feels agonizingly long and silent. "Yeah," Bokuto breathes after answering his phone, recovering his own breath, "We'll be up in a while." It must be Akaashi, then. He was right. "Kuroo was just being dumb."

His phone reflects a 4:24 running time, still ticking as seconds go by, and Kuroo's heart sinks. He isn't ever getting a better four minutes in his entire life than this, and it's all over.

He doesn't look at Bokuto, doesn't know how to, ignores the sound of him unzipping his bag and sliding his phone in.

In the silence of his car, post-kiss, only the little sounds of their ragged breathing can be heard, but Kuroo thinks if he listens close enough, more than the sound of his heart threatening to beat outside of his chest, he would hear the sound of his heart breaking at him fucking everything up, finally.

"We should go," Bokuto says now, the rasp, the strain in his voice almost flying over Kuroo's head if he weren't so hyperaware. "They'll find out we were just making out if we don't head up."

How Bokuto says that so nonchalantly, that they were _just making out_ , Kuroo doesn't know. He's lost the power of playing it off, turning to teasing, joking and laughing about it. Now he just wants to be held by Bokuto close again, or to even feel his hands on him again, or to even be able to look at him straight like nothing's wrong again, like he hasn't messed up, like he has been pretending all this while, but he feels lost, and there is still a humming under his skin, his heartbeat wild and his fingers tingly.

"Tetsurou," Bokuto tries to call, the softness in his voice saying his given name not as surprising as it should be. He's calling for Kuroo's full attention. "It's okay. We'll talk about it later or tomorrow or eventually--"

"We won't," Kuroo answers, scolding himself for how weak his voice is. "I won't have the courage to bring this up if we don't talk now."

Bokuto sits in silence, considering, waiting, probably thinking of how to let Kuroo down. Probably--

"What about the courage to kiss me again, then?"

Bokuto reaches forward to tap Kuroo's camera and end the recording, locks the phone before the preview of the video just taken plays. In his head, Kuroo gives a silent thanks for not catching on camera the rejection or joke this is going to turn into.

"As if you'd let me kiss you again," Kuroo answers, shaky hand grabbing his phone, taking it out of its stand, and resting it on his lap. Even to himself, he sounds hurt and like a damned teenager confessing when he hasn't even confessed yet. He guesses he'll never get the chance to do that now after all.

"I'd let you," is Bokuto's unexpected answer, and even though it makes want instantly start thrumming in Kuroo's blood, he still refuses to acknowledge it. Why he can't just accept this while Bokuto is still entertaining him and not running away from him is beyond him, but he just.. Doesn't know how to deal with it. 

Kuroo shrugs in a show of nonchalance and unaffectedness, shutting down the engine of his car before promptly rushing out, closing the car door behind himself as he walks to the trunk, meaning to take his and Bokuto's overnight bags.

The ringing is so loud in his ears that he doesn't hear Bokuto get out of the car himself, doesn't realize that Bokuto has gotten off until he's being pressed against the side of his own car, Bokuto's hands on his shoulders.

He's surprised, but not at Bokuto's strength. Just the fact that Bokuto still wants anything to do with him is.. Too much. Sure, Bokuto kissed him back, liked it so much, if the way he reacted through it was any indication, but some people just really like kissing. Bokuto's had a girlfriend and a boyfriend before, he probably just misses it.

Kuroo has never kissed anyone before this, and he was breathless the moment Bokuto kissed him.

"I'm in love with you," Kuroo blurts, tired of holding up pretenses. "I kissed you because I'm in love with you." He's surprised at how his gaze doesn't waver, even when Bokuto's eyes are wide and glassy and his lips look like they--

"Want to kiss you," Bokuto whispers in reply, eyes focused on Kuroo's mouth. Not on his messy hair, not on his eyes, not on the wrinkles his hands have made on Kuroo's suit, not on Kuroo's shaking hand, not anywhere else. "I want to kiss you again."

Kuroo's suit feels too warm on his body, has felt that way since Bokuto held him by the fabric of it, but his cheeks feel warmer, his gut hottest in confused anticipation.

Kuroo throws a weak punch onto Bokuto's chest, not minding how that hurt just the slightest from how firm it is. Bokuto stands straighter, puffing his chest out more in determination. This time, Bokuto meets his eyes. "Let me kiss you again."

A million things rush in and out of Kuroo's head, a few being _you're the one who said we had to head up immediately_ and _why are you the one asking for permission_ and _you're asking someone who's just confessed for a kiss_.

"Why?" Kuroo can't help but ask. This isn't going anywhere unless Bokuto just responds to his confession, or, god forbid, rejects him. "We need to go."

"I'm," Bokuto starts, chewing on his bottom lip, suddenly unsure, like he were just expecting Kuroo to say yes, which wouldn't exactly be wrong because that's exactly what Kuroo wants. "You.." Bokuto suddenly lets go of him, backs away, a safe distance from Kuroo, before he's jumping up and down and running his fingers through his hair, pulling at it, and then groaning in frustration. "Why is this so hard!"

Kuroo doesn't know how he's been looking at Bokuto since they got out of the car, guarded, horrified, exhausted, in love, but now he feels himself soften, weak in the knees but this time only over the fact that Bokuto is retreating into himself now, sitting on the floor and looking up at him like he doesn't know what he's doing anymore.

He lowers himself to Bokuto's level, and this sight, two big adults on the floor of a parking lot, would be funny, interesting, confusing to anyone, but Bokuto's hesitant smile is easily melting away all of Kuroo's anxieties from the start of their car ride, from the two nights he's spent thinking whether he should kiss his best friend or not, from the start of him thinking kissing his best friend all those years ago wasn't normal.

"I'm in love with you, too," Bokuto mumbles, lips in a pout. "Why won't you let me kiss you anymore?"

Kuroo wonders why his heart isn't on the verge of exploding now. Bokuto confessed. He feels the same way. This is the best possible outcome, and yet, is Kuroo sure this isn't a dream?

"Please, just one more before we go up," Bokuto says in the smallest voice he can muster, the one he uses when Akaashi doesn't give him extra dessert, or when Kenma doesn't let him play the character he wants. "I won't tell them if you don't want me to."

Why wouldn't Kuroo want to tell them? Kenma knows how he feels anyway--

"Akaashi knows though! But he doesn't know we kissed!" Bokuto sounds defensive for no reason at all. "Even _I_ don't know if we kissed! I'm not sure! Did we?"

Kuroo thinks it's unfair how much he's only fallen for Bokuto further with just this moment alone.

Kuroo stands up, unnecessarily dusting off his trousers. Casually, so he can conceal the smile threatening to split his face and so he can silence the bangs threatening to shout out from his heart, he starts going back to taking his and Bokuto's bags from the car. When he closes the trunk, Kuroo feels Bokuto behind him, forehead resting on his shoulder.

Kuroo feels high, like this is all a joke, or a dream, or both, but Bokuto's arms are snaking around Kuroo's waist now in a loose hug from behind.

He doesn't know what he was expecting when he'd decided to do the challenge, but this isn't it. This couldn't be it. But Kenma will tell him it should have been.

"I meant what I said," Kuroo says, shrugging one shoulder softly so Bokuto lifts his head. "I meant what I did."

"So did I," Bokuto replies, letting him go so Kuroo can turn around to face him. "You're my best friend."

"Akaashi is gonna kill me when he hears that," Kuroo jokes, just to lighten up the mood. Their matching grins is enough evidence that it worked. He starts to make his way to the elevators. The car beeps behind him when Kuroo locks it.

Bokuto jogs to catch up, and as they get closer to the areas with better lighting, he can see that Bokuto's cheeks are flushed, the blushing more prominent because of how wide he's smiling. Kuroo half wonders if his own cheeks are as red, but...

Kuroo still wants to kiss him.

When they enter the elevator and the doors close for only the two of them, Kuroo puts the bags down and turns to Bokuto. "Just one then," Kuroo says in answer to Bokuto's earlier request, as if he hasn't wanted one, ten, a hundred, a million kisses from Bokuto since forever. Bokuto is so close he only has to tilt his head for a kiss--

Bokuto's phone rings, though, and this time Kuroo can see that it's Kenma. Why neither he nor Akaashi ever call Kuroo is something he doesn't waste his kiss-fried and confession-high braincells wondering about.

"We're in the elevator now," Bokuto replies to whatever Kenma might have asked. "Yes, we're done being dumb now."

Kuroo wonders if Kenma knows already, if their freaky childhood friendship telepathy has delivered the message that Kuroo's finally done it, and that Bokuto feels the same, and that--

The elevator comes to a stop, and after a note, it opens, revealing no one on the other side. This isn't the floor of Kenma's apartment, and he's sure he only pressed the number for their floor, and when he looks at Bokuto in confusion, spooked, Bokuto just bursts out laughing at his face as the doors close again.

When he recovers from his fit, Kuroo doesn't have a hard time pulling Bokuto forward and pressing a firm, chaste kiss on his lips.

Then it's Kuroo who's laughing, a stupid giggle unfit for a big, handsome man like him, against Bokuto's lips.

Later that night, after Tsukishima's beat everyone else in their first game and won choosing-the-movie rights and everyone's had their fill of ice cream, Kuroo reaches down ans over to Bokuto who is lying on the floor to play with his fingers.

The sounds of dinosaurs roaring in the movie doesn't faze Bokuto at all. He turns his head to smile sleepily at him, and he leans down to kiss Kuroo's hand. Then he's asleep. Kuroo keeps his hand there.

Beside Kuroo, Kenma gives him a gentle smile, so unlike any of his angry frowns whenever he'd told Kuroo to just _fucking man up, Kuro, you're twenty-six._ "Finally."

_Yeah_ , Kuroo thinks to himself, just fondly watching Bokuto's ugly sleeping face and grinning to himself when he takes a picture twice. He swipes more than he needs to and is met with the thumbnail of the video from the car--Bokuto holding him by his neck, Kuroo holding him back, their parted lips pressed together. _Yeah, finally._

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! hope u liked it! kudos and comments would be appreciated :0  
> 
> 
> [♡](https://open.spotify.com/track/09bH2kOPOfgYRB9IxDh9iw)  
> 


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